Back home, having a very hard time!!!

[ericmsant2]

Indigo
I just caught up with your thread…..
You are receiving a lot of good advice but I wanted to mention a couple of things to you….

I was a crappy H to her and honestly shouldn't be getting this chance.

It takes two to make and break a marriage! Own your piece and that is it. Living this nightmare a lot of time we are made to feel like EVERYTHING wrong in the M was OUR fault. So we doubt ourselves, we take on the burden of the entire failure on our back, we get depressed, we get FEARFUL, we loose as LFW would say…”our center”. Now I am not saying that you did not make mistakes – NOPE – chances are you F*cked up just like EVERYONE else. We all mess up, we all make mistakes. As Brooklyn would say….you did the best you KNEW how to at the time. So do yourselve a favor and FORGIVE yourself.
So once you can really begin to forgive yourself you can hopefully look at things a bit more objectively.
I have been where you are….chit…I lived with IT for over 2 years! It isn’t easy. Honestly, I would not do it again.
No one here can tell you what to do. We are not YOU.
YOU have to do what you think you need to do for you and your family.
I’ll leave you with these thoughts….oh…and FTR, I do like most of what Amivalent said.

I'm just having a hard time getting the courage to do it.

This quote…..is interesting. I totally get it. I lived it. Here is the thing…..IMO, until you fully DETACH you will not have the “courage” to say anything. Personally, I think with a lot of people you never really have the courage until AFTER you confront. It almost like you need to take a step back in order to take a step forward.
In terms of your specific situation…I really liked LFW, original idea….set a time table for yourself (althought that is really hard to do)…and if it does not stope. I would confront. At the end of the day…two wrongs do not make a right. You can confront and not be an ass. It is possible. Sitting back and acting like nothing is going on and giving her the space to continue – does not always bode well for the LBS.
Whatever you decide to do….DETACHMENT is key as it the looking inside yourself.
Good luck