I'll be honest, I have thought a lot about that 2nd sentence today. It was hard to hear that and has been difficult to digest. I guess I still have some denial there. I am trying though to take all of this here, in.
I'm sorry, that was probably a little much to spring on you so soon after BD. And I certainly don't intend to take away your hope, because there IS hope for reconciliation. Early on I took a lot of inspiration from the success stories here. Check out the many stories in this forum:
I was simply trying to make the point that the goal isn't to restore your old M, it's to create a new M. But it does take time. I'm sure that right now you feel beat down, defeated, depressed and your self-esteem is no doubt in the gutter. It WILL get better, I can assure you of this because all of us here have been there. We're not armchair advisors, we have lived it! Some of our M's survived, some didn't, and some (like mine) are still undecided. But you will bounce back from this and you will be a stronger and better person because of it no matter what happens to your M. It takes time, so be patient!