I assure you, LITB I am not projecting. I remain pretty level leading up to and during the exchanges. He sincerely does not want to leave me. I don't coax him, trash-talk EX, nothing....he just doesn't want to be there with her and I do not know why....I don't know what goes on with the two of them while he is there or how they interact -- I just know he is really upset when he has to go.
I don't know how depressed she is, but I do know that she has struggled with depression for years and stopped taking anything for it after BD. She is insecure - that is a fact. And in terms of "barely surving" she portrays herself as "OK" during our brief and infrequent meetings.
I think I carry myself well during the transactions - even though yes, reality right now suks. I keep my feelings to myself about it for sure and do not let my heart show that much to S. I just try to comfort him....and I do have tears in my eyes sometimes, but I am not losing it or anything.
