Don't know if im on the edge anymore or not....

[melissag]

I don't think I am suggesting that she will run to the OM if I ignore her but I don't want to make it so uncomfortable for her to approach me that she won't do it.

This I see where you are coming from.

But then you say:

I read her initial email about it being weird not talking to me as essentially saying 'i miss you.'

That's you mind reading and coming up with expectations based on your interpretation.

(I am really good at spotting when other people are doing this, still working on spotting it in my own sitch.)

I suppose you could also restate your boundary. "W, I am happy to meet up with you (check in with you, talk to you, whatever) - if and when you have ended your R with OM."