Don't know if im on the edge anymore or not....

[labug]

Thanks for your response bug. I understand about boundaries but if I let those boundaries become a wall, that doesn't do me any good either.

Sometimes we need a wall to find our inner strength, get our feet firmly planted and to detach. You're still greatly affected by everything she does and says and writes. Go back to your anxiety about the last email.

Isn't saying, 'I won't respond because she's crossed this boundary and hurt me before so I want to protect myself from further hurt' also fear based?

No. I see it as saying "I know what I need to do for me to keep me healthy."

it's a very good question. Our boundaries should come from a place of strength not fear. Boundaries are you taking care of you.

Again, if one of my goals is reconciliation, isn't it preferable to let her in just a little - with no expectations either way and no pressure and see what happens?

Sure, but the tough part is, and only you know if you can do this, with no expectations.

Can you truly do that at this stage?

Again, go back to the email she sent you about getting together.

When her emails don't send you spinning, you're probably closer to being detached. Then think about letting her in a little.

If you not responding to her every email or text sends her into OM arms, she was never really out of them.