one of things that my x complained about, and there were many because complaining is her passion, is that she would say "Show me how to do X" and so i showed her. But what she wanted was for me to do X.
the moral of the story is say what you mean. dont play word games in an attempt not to scare him away. or to garner sympathy or support. thats what got you into this mess. that just makes it frustrating.
again, it all goes back to control what you can control, what changes do YOU need to prevent this same cycle happening again? Because the failure in your R was not entirely due to him and his MLC. What responsibility do you have in the breakdown of the R? What have you fixed in yourself?
after 20 threads of advice and support, nearly 1800 posts are still about him and his problems/confusion/MLC. you've made passing mention of groups you've joined, etc. but you're still focused about him and his MLC.
[ and this is different than the advice from MrBond about you making it all about his confusion all about you. This is about you fixing you, independent of the R. ]
the tone of your recent posts, the panic, the floundering in your words, the insecurities, are exactly the same as your first posts.
If you would focus on yourself, fix yourself, make yourself healthy, a conversation with him wouldn't cause such panic. you wouldnt fear saying the wrong words. you would be much more attractive, confident, etc.
BUT, if he comes to you intending reconciliation, without you having fixed yourself, what outcome would you expect?
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
