Newbie needs help:husband left Saturday

[dxw689]

Thanks for your link job and your reply on other thread - as you can tell, I am (more?) than a little desperate, so was trying to pull some notice in fast. I had been getting non-stop advice both from the boards and personal friends - and I mean, unanimous advice, to see a lawyer ASAP. The thing is, somewhat predictably, the lawyer advises filing ASAP: Because not doing so leaves ME open to the risk of a world of more financial hurt. I'm not sure I want to detail it all here - some is above in exchange with FloydMan. Emotionally, all my personal friends and family would be done with him too, as I'm sure you understand, since you know how cruelly the LBS is treated - and in this case, compounded by how the children are being involved. I get what you are saying though, that the easiest action is with OW and that is what he is going to choose right now: all his actions say so. The thing is, I feel he has gone to a great deal of trouble with his actions to say "look, there is no going back from this - I am making sure you and everyone else sees this". I don't know: I can stand in the face of a lot, but once he started using my kids, from the get-go, as pawns in his new relationship? There is an argument to be made that I can let go and detach a lot better once I stand up for myself to the BS. If he does not want to be with me anymore, I can make a happy life for myself without him. I have learned that I don't NEED him: that helps a lot (step 1). I love him and want him to come back - I would be willing to work slowly, but it is clear that is not going to happen anywhere near. And the lawyer pointed out that the paperwork takes a long time to go through- if he were willing to begin to consider reconciliation, we could pull back on the D. But if not, then what am I waiting for anyway? He has already set himself up in an entirely new family that includes my kids 2 days a week, but without me in it.