Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

@ Another stander,

I was rereading your post from Yesterday and failed to read it completely after I did I now have a question/comment.

If she left, I would pay the bill completely myself if she stopped paying. I would probably look to start a new plan to lower it. I cant let her know this can I?

Wouldn't that allow her to stay and not pay her share if she knew I could afford it. I would pay it all if she stayed also just don't want her, if she hasn't, to realize this either do I?. Of course, if we were working on the M that would change everything. I have a plan in mind if we R and she is still without work. I would certainly like her ideas on what she thinks we could do to handle the lower household income and incorporate it into a joint decision. This is something I didn't do according to her before the S.

The W is trying to lower it now. She and I agreed that she will handle the bills, I guess, till if or when we D. I have no problem with her taking charge and inquiring to save money. It is the prudent thing to do if we can.

I think she will handle the bills even if she moves out until D. Haven't asked that question because I am trying not to bring that subject up.

You say to decide what I am doing and do it unless she objects,

I agree about deciding what to do and following through on it, but I don't think telling her what I am going to do if she moves out is a subject I want to bring up. Should it be?

Am I misunderstanding what you are trying to tell me?

Or is that comment based on things after she has already moved out and that is just keeping her updated on my plans?

Being decisive is an Alpha behavior. I thought I did this in our M a good deal. The problem is it got turned on me as being controlling and not taking her thoughts or opinions into account.

I know the W will be turn everything into a negative right now but if we were to R how do you combat the feeling that being decisive is also being controlling? When that is not my intentions.