He's actually been transparent. I have full access to his emails and his IMs...he has simply encouraged me to NOT read them. Based on what I've read here, that's the advice they give. Don't read - it will only get you upset.
In his eyes, he's being honest, which is, in his eyes, what makes this okay.
He claims that he loves me and that our marriage is forever. He just has strong emotions for this other woman, too.
And we just end up at the same stalemate again and again.
Which brings me back to what brought me here. How much am I willing to tolerate? Divorce would be terrible for the children. It would be terrible for me. It would be terrible for him. Neither of us want to do that.
Unfortunately, we are on totally opposite sides of how to handle this particular situation. And this is the first time in our 21 years together that I've felt this way. Do I throw away 21 years of greatness for something that could fade in the near future, since she wants to have babies with her husband soon?
He thinks that I only dislike this relationship because society tells me that it's wrong. Admittedly, that's part of the reason I dislike it. I've also told him that it's really disrespectful to me, the person who he says is his best friend. He doesn't get it. And he WOULD have gotten it 20, 15, 10, 5 years ago. Which is why I think this is a MLC...which means I just have to hang on for the ride.
Time is on my side. I need to be able to think clearly, which I'm not doing very well now.
Me 43 H 43 Married 18 years Together 21 years Two kids, 15 and 13 BD 11/14/13 (but not asking for divorce - just informing me of OW)
