Okay - feeling brave. Going to initiate conversation while he is still in town with OW.
Maybe he can figure out what he wants to do before he comes home...if he comes home.
STOP operating based on your feelings of the moment. This goes for when you're feeling "brave" as well as when you're feeling down and defeated.
Learn to begin OWNING your emotions and feelings, but not ACTING on them, at least not for something as crucial as a confrontation that could forever change your marriage.
Don't get me wrong, I am NOT against standing up for one's own boundaries of personal integrity -- in fact, I'm a huge proponent. But do it at the right time, after much thought and planning, and in a calm way that will get your point across.
Learning to stop leading with your feelings would be a great first step for you, IMHO.
This can also be done not only in deciding what YOU proactively do or say to your husband, but also when being asked to RESPOND to him (learn to avoid "R" talks). "I'm not sure HOW I feel about that anymore . . . I'll have to think about that" is your friend.
