I totally agree that I've basically given him permission (even though he doesn't have my permission), but there's a reason why....We were young when we met and ultimately got married, and he's always been bothered by the fact that I had one more sexual partner than he had before we met. (Our numbers were both really small - neither of us was terribly experienced.) So - we've conversed about the fact that this one will allow him to catch up.

IDK....It's dumb....but I guess I really do hope that it will appease this stupid itch that's been bugging him for 20 years.

On the other hand - you're TOTALLY right. I'm better than this, and he knows it, too.

I've been struggling with this, truly....

Me 43 H 43
Married 18 years
Together 21 years
Two kids, 15 and 13
BD 11/14/13 (but not asking for divorce - just informing me of OW)