It's just stuff yes, but it needs sorted out and that's what she's asking for, your ideas. This a business negotiation.

"W, thanks for letting me know your thoughts on this. I am trying to keep both POV in focus and, like you, have our children's interests in first position."

And then go on the answer her questions.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss