Four weeks in, hopeful but just starting!

[TipAnna]

Hi KGirl!

I'm having a VERY hard time trying to stay positive while still in the same house as him. I'm doing my best to GAL and that helps when I'm gone, but sometimes I just want to come home, kick my feet up, and watch TV. Or maybe make myself some dinner. Or other normal things that you just want to do in your home and feel comfortable! And he never goes anywhere besides soccer for an hour a week, so I can't get any "alone time" to just relax. I don't know how much more I can take of this without snapping and asking "what the heck are you doing?!"

Trust me, there will be days when you think you have already lost your mind. I am in the same situation as you, so you are not alone! I am still living with my H although he has in no clear terms stated he wants out, and is still seeing the OW. I just go by my day “as if” he was not there. Yes, he is physically in the house but if he is watching TV, I am reading. If I want to come home, kick my feet up, and watch TV. Or maybe make myself some dinner. Well, I will do so but just not when he is doing so…

Be patient and keep DBing..stop thinking about “what HE is doing?” and instead, think of it as, well if he’s not doing anything, then this gives ME time to figure out what I want to do..

Someone said above that you can do 90% of your moving on while still married...but I don't know if that's true while you still leave together. Advice, anyone?! It's so hard to keep up the "act" of being positive when I'm so angry at him, and I don't know how to make myself more genuinely happy while here.

It’s hard, I know, cause you’re still processing and hurting, but you need to DETACH, DETACH, DETACH...this is you’re new mantra...…At the beginning, it is all raw and emotional; you just want to run... but with every passing day, if you continue to DB, you’ll see it gets easier..