One of the things you should work on is becoming a more genuine, confident, person that moves forward with deliberate action. By genuine, I don't mean to infer anything other than you should speak the truth in your heart, and stop trying to be a pleaser and avoiding confrontation. Asking your husband not to get the OM pregnant and not to get a disease tacitly (if not overtly) gave him permission to have s@x with her. Not telling your mother in law to butt out of your marriage is another example of not standing up for yourself. People need to have boundaries in healthy relationships. Being a pleaser, and avoiding confrontation, allows others to cross over your boundaries unmolested. People will only respect the boundaries that you enforce!
If your marriage doesn't fall apart as a result of your husband's cheating with this woman, your actions are only ensuring that he will do it again, and again, and again with other women. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with a serial philanderer? I and others on here learned the hard way that tough love is the ONLY love that will get your marriage back and in good shape. Many folks on these boards will ask you to sit back and take a passive attitude in fixing your marriage. I guarantee you that those folks that would advocate this course have not fixed their own marriages for that very reason.
Stand up straight, dust yourself off, look yourself in the eyes in the mirror and say: "I do not deserve to be treated the way my husband is treating me. I'm a beautiful woman that any man would be lucky to have. From now on, I'm going to consciously present myself that way to the world. Nobody is going to stop me from living the life that I desire!". Do this every single day until you believe it in your heart.
