my wife left, but still lives with me #2/continued

[tough spot]

"Who wouldn't doubt them? She asked you many times before, but you didn't take her seriously. Now you do. NOW you are making the changes she has long wanted."

answer---I myself even doubt them! I have been working on changing but it has been primarily a reaction to the situation. I am just now, i think, starting to work on me for me.

I didn't mean to imply that I was considering instigating a divorce. I am just being prudent, knowing that I can't predict the future and should be prepared....in case my wife files and things were to get 'nasty'.

Finances are easy, 50/50 split of assets and debts. However I get the inkling that she isn't so sure I could handle 50% physical custody of the children. If she thinks that, there could be a fight on my hands.

I have been getting better, not asking questions. I am just waiting for her to make a move. Meanwhile, I attend AA meetings, go to counseling, and leave the house occasionally.

She literally hasn't discussed anything about the R except for the one time I broke down and started a conversation these last three weeks. According to her, we are working on paying down debt first. According to her chat with her friends, she is getting a loan from her mother to pay for a lawyer. According to her spending habits, we are not working on paying down debt.

I have complimented her several times these last two weeks and have received a bland thank you. Will keep that up because that seems like a good idea.

keep the ideas and analysis coming!