Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

AS,

I think I have based my decisions on the fact that she might be leaving soon ever since I moved back. I can't stop her if she does so that is best way to act so I don't get disappointed. It will hurt and it is not want I want but such is life in these types of situations.

She has a pattern of doing things to make it look like she is leaving and then she doesn't follow through. I have learned not to get bent out of shape so much about these things. I still get a bit nervous but it passes after I tell myself I cant control it so let it go. Someday she probably will leave and that is why each time I get to interact with her on some level I want to make the most of it.

She told me a month ago when I moved back that she had no place to go and I was forcing her out of the house by moving back. She didn't move out then and I am not sure things have changed in a month.

She does have places to go but does not want to. I think because it is nice to be in a house where their is no one who will question your whereabouts and goings on. Plus, most of her comforts would be gone.

This time it is even worse I believe because of the financial crisis she is in. I saw this coming months ago but let her go to learn for herself.

She is stubborn and I am sure she sees money trouble on the horizon for herself but that will only make her more angry and defensive.

I am preparing for this to somehow be my fault and I will empathize with her and validate her feelings. Hopefully, I wont get defensive myself. I have great confidence that I wont and I can talk in a calm soothing voice but it is what I say and how I say it that is important here.

The old me would have been in the "I told you so" mode. The new me will not allow myself to get in that mode but I want let her know without coming out and telling her I will be there for her.

I know she already knows this and that is a disadvantage for me. I have detached a decent amount but I get the feeling she knows I am still in love with her.

I guess all I want is I want to make her feel that is ok to ask me for things and I will have no expectations(I hope) and that I will never throw in it up in her face somewhere down the line.

I don't want to let her off the hook. I know she has to live with the consequences of being a WAS but I don't want to punish her.

If somehow I can let her "save face". I think it will help us overall maybe.