WH It isn't their right to live their own life that we question, but the manner of their doing it - the treatment of us and the children they once held so dear during all of this that adds to the pain.
Moving, packing and unpacking are emotionally and physically hard. You are probably exhausted, so please take care of yourself. The long hard bitter bit is almost over, and the real process of making a new life about to begin.
I thought I was doing so well and was so strong. I know I will be okay but the thought of not seeing these kids every day sickens me. I know you all say I will get the kids more eventually, but I don't know. H is pretty stubborn and strong willed and I just don't see him letting his guard down for that to happen. Maybe once the financials are cut and dry? But then again maybe he will be stringent so he can go back in two years and get placement revised?
H is freaking out about this money situation. It goes into effect tomorrow I believe. He is constantly asking me if I heard from my attorney which I haven't. I am just waiting for him to start threatening me again.
Like a roach he just won't die.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
WH, He may be freaking out about the money, but just you wait until he has to deal w/your d when she has a meltdown. You won't be there to save the day for him. He's in for a rude awakening on just how much you did and held the family together.
Once you are settled, you'll find some peace and quiet and your children will grow and thrive. You might just be surprised at how happy the three of you will be. Your home will be the safe haven that your children can't wait to return to after visiting their father.
Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
WH, you ARE doing well and you ARE strong. Having a normal human response to a very difficult and painful process doesn't change that.
I agree with job regarding your kids. I can tell you that mine are thriving. In fact, my oldest recently told me that this last year has been the best year of his life. I thought, how in the world can that be? We have suffered so much loss and turmoil. Through it all we have emerged happy. The key was learning to take very good care of myself so that I could take very good care of my kids. Creating a peaceful, nuturing home was also essential. I didn't realize how much my xh's mental state sabotaged all of my efforts in the past. So, in a way, I do have the life I've always wanted. There are still parts of my dream that are missing, but I believe it will all come together when I'm ready.
WH, know that what you are feeling is normal. You are not shut down and that's a wonderful thing. Being sad doesn't feel good, but let the tears flow. During this time you will be ridding yourself of all the toxic behavior. You will emerge refreshed, ready to embrace the new you and all that life has to offer.
Thanks, GM. I am so tired of the up and down emotional crap. I just want to be on an even keel for a while. So tired of H using these kids as a pawn to get what he wants.
So I have a technical question. I am trying to wrap my brain around getting phone/internet and TV set up in the new place. I don't want a lot of channels on the TV. H told me I should get the bundle (TV, internet and land line phone) from the provider set up at the new place but that will cost almost $100 per month and I don't really want to spend that much. Do I need a land line? H had a heart attack when his first wife never set up a land line, but her cell phone number kept changing too. Also, I have internet on my phone, so I don't really need internet at the house, except for the kids' tablets and ipods. AND I don't want a million channels that we will never watch when all we really watch is HGTV, Food Network, Lifetime and the Disney channel LOL! Oh, and Animal Planet.
Should I just get the DSL package for internet for now and how do I go about getting hulu or anything? I heard Netflix is not worth the money so I am not interested in going that route.
I tried to research this but all the discussions are tech heavy and right now hurt my brain. I am overwhelmed as it is and I need to read "Bundle Options for Dummies".
Thanks, WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I believe Ellie posted in one of your threads about how to save money from cable TV by going through Roku & Hulu. Another thing you would want to take a look into is ABC News' website for a link on one of their "How To Save Money" segments on Internet/TV.
I remember KML telling me about that, but I have no idea if I can set that up myself or if I need a provider. I am SOOOOO ignorant. And all that I read goes way over my head.
I am thinking of just getting internet and doing internet TV but my TVs are older so I don't know if they will work! ARG! Like I said I need "DSL for dummies".
Also, I don't know about the land line. I think it's kind of passe, but other thoughts are appreciated.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I watched the video to which you referred, Wonka, but it didn't really tell me anything on HOW to save in the first place, but just how to "negotiate" with the cable companies if you think you are being over billed.
I don't want to go totally TV-less, but I don't want to spend $100 a month on this garbage either. Not sure if $30 a month for a DSL line is worth it either.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
For a home phone I just found something called BasicTalk which is a device you can buy for around $10 and then $10 a month. The reviews are very good. I have found that Internet alone is expensive, so adding basic cable and just bundling those two services is cheaper.
As far as what your h thinks, who cares. It's your choice whether you want a home phone or not. This will be your home and you can run it the way you want to. Show yourself and your h that you can figure things out and make sound decisions. He doesn't need to be involved.
