Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

I hope this doesn't lead to anything too serious.

The W text this morning asking if I talked to cable company about her being able to change things on the account. I told her I had not because back in Nov. when she asked the same question I asked her for the number and yes I would call them and tell them she is authorized to make changes. She never responded.

I guess it wasn't that important back then as it is now.

She is also asking the same about the cell phone.

All this stem from the fact that her benefits were discontinued last week I think and now she wont be able to pay her share of the bills after this month or even sooner.

When I responded back to her I asked what her thoughts were to lower these bills. She said whatever she had to do to lower them because she hardly ever watches cable and what they charge is ridiculous. The cell phone is too high also. I negotiated the costs about a year ago to get the best possible rate and I think we are locked in for another year or so.

I then text I have no problem with what you are trying to do. In fact, I agree that maybe less movie channels would lessen the bill. I am busy now but I have some thoughts can we discuss it tonight?

I haven't receive a reply yet.

My problem is during this bill discussion it might roll over to a D discussion.

I hope not but How can I keep it strictly about bills only?

I can afford to pay a bigger portion of the bills but don't feel the need too considering she hasn't IMHO put forth her best effort to get or look for another job.

I don't want it to seem like black mail but I know she will try not accept extra help from me. I can pay extra without expectation but I think she thinks I won't or can't.

What is a good way of offering assistance without making it seem like she needs my help. Or better yet to get her to ask me for help. I don't know if she will concede the fact that her income stream has been curtailed.

I have had a plan in place, in my mind, even before the S if she or I lost our job. I want her to have input in this so I am not going to share that with her right now. Because this plan was assuming we were still together and not S.

She made the comment about a week ago that she would handle the household bills till we are D I said sure no problem you have been doing a great job ever since you took over and she has. I hope that when she finds out that she might not be able to lower these costs she doesn't flip out and if she does I need to be able to try and turn this into a positive from a position that might seem like I will have control. I want to avoid at all costs because that is one reason she has said she has become a WAS.

Advice please