own a buz 20: confused within the confusion

[makingmagic]

Ken ~ THANK YOU... that was beautifully understood! and WOW!!
"how do you act around him? act like a 46 year old woman who has some sense of self worth, who values herself. someone who knows she's worth more than his confusion and maybes and leftovers. and believe it."... my new MOTTO!!

Gabby ~ I am a happy person. I have been removing myself from his emotions choosing to be happy inspite of his moods. His recent convo of confusion, confused me... however, I again see that it is HIS confusion and not to take it on. Not to think its "reconcilliation", just confusion. HOwever, the new bomb of the details of the OW, blows me away. I cannot be "happy".. the smile has been removed from my face. Again, I am sorry if I upset you... but, my questions of understanding the feral cat/squirrel analogy is where I think I am. I do feel that he is warming up... and I am scared to death on doing the wrong thing. This is where I was looking for experiences. I was not asking Sandi or Wonka or VET to chime in... anyone could regarding what they may have read from those experiences. I am sorry if you misread me.

Job ~ as above... Of course I have read those boards. I have thrived in them. I just wanted support. I am not always looking for 'answers'. Alot of the time I am venting and just want someone to agree with me. I have done all kinds of re-reading others & my threads. When I say "I don't know how to be around him, especially now due to new bomb"... what I am really saying is "has anyone dealt with this? How did you deal? What was a good/bad thing you did and would/wouldn't do again"...again, just wanting support. I know my reactions, my responses are mine. I feel I have taken control of myself over this last year. I still spin at times, BUT the length of time is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY shhorter now. Also, I have been satisfied with the advice...just missing the support.



AND AGAIN.... PLEEASE everyone.... I know I p!ss many of you off...this is not my intent. but, I really feel that if you could see my life, hear my words ... you would understand me better. There is so much misinterpretation in messages... I hate it... for example: Gabby, I was genuinely asking with soft tone "are you sure?, because I thought there were rules/guidelines/script that I could be following"... and somehow MrBond took it the complete wrong way... and then it spiraled. ... and it insulted everyone! F-me!!