Hi P. Sorry you had a rough night. My H was similar to your W. H left, yet would come into my house like he still lived there. H would bring his laundry, lounge in our bed, take a shower. H would come over for dinner if he wanted. I finally had to sit down with him and lay down some boundaries. I told him that while he could watch the kids in our house, my room/bathroom were off limits. I told him that he could not just swing by for dinner, eat and leave. He would only want to take the older kids out and leave me with S1. I told him that we could have set times that he needed to be with the kids and only those times could be come to the house. So my H has the kids (all of them) on Wednesday/Friday. I just leave the house and don't come home until 9 pm (sometimes it is later depending on my activity). He is in charge of everything (dinner, bead times, etc). Since I set up these boundaries, things have been a lot better. We have been able to co-parent in a more positive manner. H has become a MUCH better dad. I cant even tell you the difference. For the first 11 months of S1's life, my H probably held him three times and maybe changed two diapers (my H does not even have one picture with S1 - so sad). Within a month, S1 was his little buddy because the arrangement forced him to be responsible for him. H realized that he could be a great, attentive dad. H learned that he could not be on his phone/computer and make sure that they were all still alive at the same time. H also had his own time to figure out things that he wanted to do with the kids instead of depending on me. I have read that the WAS will come back to everyone else first (friends, kids) and then the LBS last. I think that it is a huge positive sign that your W attempted to do something with the kids. I think that you just need to put some boundaries in place so that everyone knows what to expect.
