D2 , let me start off by saying im sorry your going thru this! Its going to be one of the most challenging things you've ever done in your life, but your going to DB thru this!!!

AS is hellva good guy to have in your corner. I'm going to chime in with more of the morale support, listener for you for now.

I know its raw, your stomach is probably hurting all the time, and your in a constant daze. Make sure your eating, sleeping, and hell man, getting a good cry out here and there. Nothing wrong with that, just make sure she's not around.

I certainly don't mean to make you feel worse right now, but a lot of new posters come here almost in denial. They think that if they do A, B, and C. They can get this turned around. I just want you to understand, that is NOT the case, it can happen, but its going to take a D-Z, and then another foreign language on top of that before you might get a CHANCE to save your marriage.

I'm telling you this cause "state of mind" plays a big part of this whole thing. Do not underestimate ANY of what she's saying right now, even the crazy things you cant believe come out of her mouth. To her, they are REAL. You need to understand talking right now, is probably the worst thing you can do sometimes. Your new mantra is listening, and I mean hearing whats being said. Do NOT interject your opinion, you don't have one right now that matters. And another good hobby your going to be picking up is STFU. I think you understand.

Get out of the house, as much as you can, be mysteriously gone. Go to the library its free, you can read some books that will help. Walk around the mall, go to a park and read one of the books you might check out. Join a cheap/inexpensive gym and go work out. Just keep you and your mind busy. Its not about being mean, or "none of your business" attitude. Just you were out. period.

Keep posting here, venting, what ever you want or feel you need. We're here to listen, we're hear to help you try and save your marriage, but most importantly were here to help you save YOU.

You have a new routine everday/night, sit-ups, push-ups, cheap exercises you can do on the floor in any room, help you burn off some frustrations, and help you feel a bitter better to boot.

You'll get some others chiming in here soon. Read up on some others stories. You'll find a couple of things in common, 1. this takes a LONG time, maybe a year or two. 2. Your going to be all over the place for a while, understand that, and learn to be ok with it. 3. Its best to not share to much with too many, especially family as they don't want to see you hurt, so some of their advice might not be what you want to hear, or help with where your trying to get. 4. STFU, if your not sure what to say, say nothing to her, but do NOT let it escalate.

Feel overwhelmed yet? class is just starting. Its time to learn, and grow.