I just wanted to post a quick update on my situation. My WW has told me that she still occasionally texts and calls the OM, but has refused to give me the login information to our cellular account to verify. Obviously she has refused to agre to NC and transparency.
I've spent the past few weeks trying to improve the relationship while setting the stage for an ultimatum. The only "slips" I've had in my 180's has occasionally asking whether she was texting the OM or "acting secretive" (this last one being one of her complaints about me). Things HAVE actually gotten better, if you ignore the OM lurking in the background.
I'm meeting with a lawyer at the end of the week, will open a new checking account shortly, and have been working on identifying the other points I'd need to sever if she doesn't agree to comply. If she refuses, I'll have to leave. Logistically there is no other way short of quitting my job (it's a long commute) or taking my DD out of her current daycare and moving away. My leaving will be the closest to what she would experience in a D as she'll get without actually having one.
If I go this route, should I still provide the minimal amount for child support (20% for my state). Do I tell family and friends the truth of why I'm not around if she goes to them for help and asks why I'm not doing "x"?
