Been a while. Been moving and packing. Most of the stuff is over there already. Colder than Hades in the Midwest so I have little ambition. Been emotional today. Trying not to be. Home with the kids. School was cancelled so it's a good day to relax.
H has been nice. Trying to get what he wants. I almost would rather he was mean. It's easier to bear if you know what I mean. He helped me move my stuff this past weekend. At first he left it up to me and S and I railed him a new one. Told him if he was unable to help he should have been honest so I would not have wasted my time and money and would have hired movers. He then started helping. I may be wrong but I think he started to get pretty emotional and he was trying to run away. But I called him on his bad behavior. He said he will help me get the rest of the stuff on Friday.
Not sure how I feel. I still don't want a divorce, but I don't want to be marriedto H anymore. Does that make sense? H is a large child. He is incapable of being what I need or what the kids need. He did lash out at me a few times this weekend because I did not consult him about what I packed. He wanted to go over everything together. I said that's hard to do when you aren't around. That offended him. Really? He also told me that anything my mom bought was marital property and I told him I was taking the stuff my mom bought lie it or not. I left the stuff his mom bought (which isn't much) and I am taking what my mom bought. I think he didn't realize how little there would be left. This house is pretty empty now. I think this has made it more concrete.
H would never admit making a mistake or that he misses me. I still have my head spinning. Trying to focus on the task but I get blindsided from time to time.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
