own a buz 20: confused within the confusion

[makingmagic]

Thanks Melissa... welcome to my confusion!! LOL (I would welcome your opinion too)

Thanks Gabby.... yes, wonderful advice... much appreciated. I know everyone gets upset with me. Thinking that I am not listening, but I am... I am!! Yes, my h's motives "might be"... its possible, and will keep that in mind. I just don't know if its him.

Kens words:
my belief is that he is telling you what he thinks you want to hear, and when you press him for his thoughts he just gives you more. yes, this is a possible scenario... but, I wasn;t asking for his thoughts... he started volunteering them.

but that doesn't mean he believes what he's saying, or that he actually feels that way. in his mind he's trying not to hurt you. and he doesn't want have to keep telling you he is done and its over. he's told you that before and his actions tell you that. but your actions and words are that you haven't accepted it yet. again, he doesnt want to hurt me.. so why even tell me? I didn't ask for any of it... my actions are that I have accepted what he said and am moving forward to mediation.

my x claimed to be interested in reconciliation and gave me the same vague answers, but in reality it was simply lies, for whatever reason - she didnt want to be seen as the person who ended the marriage, or she didnt want our friends to look badly at her, or she was just buying time until the paperwork came through. the reasons dont matter, and the lies are just lies, maybe well intended but still lies. I can see this as a possibility too as my h doesnt like people to think poorly of him... so I keep assuring him that people wont think badly. I am not convinced he is lying. Possible tho. At this point anything is possible.

you will continue to be confused and lost as long as you try to understand what he's doing. things will become much clearer when you ignore what he's saying and focus only on yourself. AGREE!! which is WHY I am continuing to mediate (appt in February)

Going back to our convo of last night... H wants assurances that I am still willing to R . He wants to be sure that I havent had a bf.... Why does he get all the assurances? Shouldn't I be getting some? Maybe thats why the "honesty" is coming out... I dunno..He assures that he misses me, and longs for our old relationship (the good parts, not the yelling), that we have 20 years and that means alot to him. He sees value in that. He doesnt see spending the next 20 years with anyone else...or even anyone.

He is nice today. Very responsive and texing/communicating alot. I will be seeing him within the hour to work due to a client appt. My head wants to throw things at him. My heart needs bandaids... How am I to be around him? Still friendly? or distant/aloof...skeptical?

Now he is here to repair my DD little car.