Well, H had some normal human behavior yesterday: he came over to take care of the dogs (like he told me he would on Mondays-I'm gone a long time). He also brought a bag of dog food like I asked him to last week AND shoveled the snow. I wasn't home, of course. And I have gone back to NC, it's so peaceful!
I'm counting this as an eencie teencie baby step that he's building back his respect: he's done very little follow-through with empty promises the past month. I'm not holding my breath for anything else, but at least he did SOMETHING!!
Continuing to GAL...off to go workout!!
Me: 39 H: 45 Second marriage for both H left 12/2013 M:4 T:5.5
I also realized today I've only been in this for a little over a month! Seems like years.
But I am much better than I was a month ago- a month from now I'll be even better!!
At the very least, this whole thing has started me on a spiritual journey that I should have started years ago!
Just about 2 months in for me. I feel the same. you're doing great!
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
I also realized today I've only been in this for a little over a month! Seems like years.
Time really drags early in the sitch. We all start out with lots of expectations and they just keep getting dashed against the rocks over and over again. We watch every little move on their part for signs of hope. We go out and do something and think we're GAL'ing when we're really just biding our time until we can get back to putting our WAS under the microscope again. At least that's how it was for me, LOL! Just keep the focus on you, it does get better and easier as time goes on. Soon you'll be enjoying yourself in spite of your sitch, and the stretches in which you're not even thinking about it grow longer and longer.
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At the very least, this whole thing has started me on a spiritual journey that I should have started years ago!
Yes! We're defined by how we respond to adversity. THAT is who we REALLY are. It's easy to show dignity when nothing ever goes wrong in your life, but maintaining dignity when things are falling apart is a real testament to your strength.
I already posted my H's strange behavior last week with the mail, etc. I have not spoken to him in person in over 2 weeks, and no email or text in over a week.
Now, I'm not even tempted to contact him, but how long is he going to ignore me? ( I know nobody has an answer to that and every sitch is different, but this is the longes we've gone in 5 years with no contact).
Any vets out there have some time frames from their own sitch to share of a WAS who went MIA? Or read any others that you can remember??
And, no worries: I continue to GAL ( just came back from bowling league, and I had some beers so of course it got my mind racing...ugh!!!)
Me: 39 H: 45 Second marriage for both H left 12/2013 M:4 T:5.5
Artsy, I've gotten into the same impatient feelings. I don't think there is a set timeframe. My W and I have now surpassed any length of NC time we've previously known in 17 years. So, I can certainly sympathize/empathize with you. Be patient, just keep living your life its changes to you 9not saving the M) that actually becomes the goal. I think, the M saving turns out to be a byproduct almost of saving OURSELVES just my 2 cents
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
I'm a very go-getter, logical, fact-based person -my IC says I have an usually male brain. Lol so I just was curious as to some statistics...
I wish I could turn off my brain sometimes. Even when I'm GALing, he's there, and that's starting to make me angry! Lol go away, I need some peace and quiet!
Me: 39 H: 45 Second marriage for both H left 12/2013 M:4 T:5.5
H came over again today to take care of the dogs. I still haven't spoken to him in 2 weeks, but he left a note asking to stop by some morning this week...whatever works for me.
Didn't say he wanted to visit with me, just that he was going to stop by. I refuse to have expectations, but I will let him know the one and only time I am available this week (it really is a busy week for me). He may just want to drop off tax stuff, no way to tell, and I'm not asking.
Also, he dropped the dog back off. She smells VERY strongly of his cologne...what a weirdo.
And he sent me a text that said: "Hey". Literally, that's all it said. I think we've gone back to Jr. high!!!!!!
Me: 39 H: 45 Second marriage for both H left 12/2013 M:4 T:5.5
