own a buz 20: confused within the confusion

[KenF]

to me, this is the key: "He admitted he doesnt want to go through with mediation"

my gut says he's protecting his assets, he's hoping to get you to agree to what he wants and that he can easily manipulate you by claiming Confusion. and he knows a mediator wont fall for that BS.

my guess is his confusion didnt begin until you mentioned mediation.

as far as boundaries, i gave you what i considered a boundary, when you give more details, it only give him/you more opportunity to argue the insignificant details and brush off the important ones.

and removing yourself from daily contact, including working together, is for you. you are clearly spiraling out of control. the faster you do it, after mediation, the better.

but the intertwining of working together, the money, the business, the OW, will ultimately prevent you from moving in the right direction, and is just adding to the chaos.

i believe you have to give up on the idea of reconciliation or the relationship WHILE you're so out of control. you dont have the strength or the self-respect to deal with it while you're working together. then go and get your act together, build up some self love first, and then decide what you want to do.

one thing i found about myself which was odd/interesting, is that after the BD i wanted what i couldnt have. before the BD i didnt want her, but suddenly she's sleeping with her boss and i honestly believed i had lost the greatest woman in the world - but that was a lie my mind told me. after i gave up on the relationship and stepped away, i realized i was better than that, and i didnt want her back and i saw her for the POS she was.