One baby step at a time...

[2ndTimeHurt]

Mind reading time? Or maybe it's doing something different and seeing what happens.

What I've been doing differently is keeping my mouth shut regarding other dude and what she's been up to. I even saw mr special's flowers he got her. I didn't say a word. I'm being upbeat/calm/happy when she expects me to be heartbroken/needy/angry/jealous etc. I haven't initiated any texts/calls.

So my ex texts me around lunch time asking how our son has been. I tell her some funny stuff he's done. Usually that would be the end of it. She kept the text going a bit which really surprised me. We all know how she likes to not text back but expect me to jump to the pump. Then tonight she actually calls me. I can't remember the last time she called to ask about our son. I told her he was sleeping but I could wake him so she could say hi. She declined. We ended up talking for a while about random stuff. Clothes we need to get our son, colors she wants to dye her hair(she mentioned she doesn't want to go to a hair dresser. I used to dye her hair. Ya I know), she asked where I took my son yesterday(I posted a pic on fb of him playing at the arcade), she even mentioned she wanted to come by here tomorrow for a family visit. She even said goodnight first(it's pretty sad that I think it's a positive that she actually said goodnight). After the call ended she texts me again. Telling me her tv still doesn't work. We texted for a bit about nothing really. Here's a 180 for me, I let her be the last to text. I actually didnt reply back! Mind you it wasnt a question or anything, but it's still a 180 for me to just end a conversation. I never end conversations. I've always been like that with everybody. When my ex and I first met we would stay on the phone until morning or until she fell asleep on the phone.

So those are a few things that I've noticed. I just want to journal here that she in fact does bounce around on what she says. I really need to fully understand that her words(especially when she's mad), mean absolutely nothing. I repeat, her words mean squat, diddle, nothing...


I have a question. You know when people say be that guy she fell in love with. Does that sort of thinking still apply to me? I have a hunch that is what turned her around the first time she left. Either way I'm just gonna keep doing what I'm doing. Going out, lift weights, read, listen to music, play my guitar, flirt with women, have fun with my son, cry in the shower every once in a while etc. One day at a time...