He doesn't trust words, and he feels they are forced. I need the words--he really doesn't get it. So for him things happening naturally means that R is never talked about but just starts to feel right again. I need words, but right now I can't push that. So I will continue to DB with my GAL and my 180s, and I will continue to try to build a connection without talking about the R. And I will continue to keep a PMA, especially when he is in a foul mood. And I will not let my anxieties infect our interactions. I need to have a money talk with him, but I need to wait until I feel like I can be positive about it and not let it become a stressful conversation. I don't want to go back to our bad money habits (not ok with me at all), but I also know that why I was doing to fix the situation drove a huge wedge between us. Somehow I need to figure out how to inspire him to want to work on this together.
I deleted a large section of my previous post that this section was part of. Sorry for the confusion.
A few days before he told me he didn't want to S I was temperature checking and he told me to be patient. Then the night before we were having a nice time together and I asked him what was happening with us, and he said "why do you have to go and do that". I dropped the subject both times and kept my PMA, but the next day I was so mad. And I told him that I thought that he was enjoying the fact that I don't know what is going on. That really pissed him off. He couldn't believe I could say such a thing. So the conversation about not wanting a S and telling me he loves me actually came out more in anger than as an act of trying to reconcile.
Still, for me, I need to words. To him having to tell me how he feels is unnatural and forcing things--I think. So that is what that section of my post is referring to. Our biggest conflict I think lies in our love languages. Mine is words, and that happens to be the one that makes him the most uncomfortable. So for right now i really have to lay off the verbal communication and focus on learning the other languages.
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
