Sad times

[MamaB]

Thank you for the reply Breakdown. My H was never very specific with what I was doing wrong during the M. What I would have changed in myself was to be more physically affectionate to my H and to be more present in our relationship. I would have made sure that we took the time to nurture our relationship as husband and wife.

Also, I would have been working on GALing, for myself and ultimately being a happier person. I have been a SAHW for about 10 years. In order to grow my husband career, we had to move to different states every two or so years. I was home with kids and found it hard to have deep connection with people as you get older and you know you have to leave.

We have been in this last city longer then any other in the last 10 years, and I was sad to leave again when my H got his promotion a year ago. I was always very good at building up my H in his job, I had so much confidence in him and would always remind him of how accomplished he was when he became insecure. I should have built him him up more this last time as we'll, but I was sad and there is the issue of my oldest D.

She has had to move schools soooo many times and she is very involved in her schools drama department. Her HS school has an amazing program and this is something she can get scholarships for college. My H and I agreed for us to stay in this city for the year and move the next, leaving her to stay for her senior year. About half way through he wanted us to move because he was feeling pressure to be in new city. I really stressed to stay for the year to get my D closer to graduation. I mention this because this last year is when my H really withdrew and I became invisible to him. I tried to talk to him about it which lead to not talking to him and being distant with him as well.

I have been (unknowingly) applying 180's since September, I just felt that it was probably a drag to come home to a distant wife. But I think I was making it harder for H to push for D. Now I need to get past my hurt and anger. I need to start communicating. I have to figure out how I'm going to be in the same room with him and how to co-parent. I still seem to be in denial. Sorry so long, it was to give background.