2nd time around. H wants D. I don't

[NotAgainPlease]

Hi CW,

I feel for you doing this for the 3rd! time.. I can't imagine. Although my feelings of panic, etc are milder this time.
My H insistent is as intense this time as last. When we separated for the first month he would say "not now" Then the more we fought and time went on I don't hear "not now" anymore.

However, a lot has changed in the last 2-3 weeks. I went out of town for a few days and came back and decided I was going to be nice/friendly if it killed me.
I need to back up a bit. Before I went we had a big blow out.
During that argument he was telling me please don't yell at me several times. Then H voice cracked and sounded like he was crying. I became concerned. He NEVER get emotional. Turns out he was having a bad day at would and I think he may have gotten an ass chewing and nothing was going right. Hes a superintendent and has to schedule all the subs.
Anyway that is when I decided to change for good!! Since then I have been friendly. He has really come along, calls me, texts to me often throughout the day. Usually about nothing. But its been nice.
He now thinks I have a BF because I go out with my friends a lot. I just let him think that. HE wants to know everything about him! I tell him when I asked you would not tell me or get mad...
We have not been physical in over a month. Last time we separated we did more frequently. I went over to his house last week so we could fill out the divorce papers online. I initiated it and said I wanted to get on with my life. I know he's thinking now shes being nice and giving me a divorce. H said why are you doing it? I am the one who wants the divorce.

We filled it all out with no tears or anger..I said I was going to go and H said whats the hurry? You have a date with BF? I said I was going out yes. We talked a little more and I could see he really didn't want me to go.

Long story short we ended up ML. It was all initiated by H. H was very passionate and kissed me. He has always held back on kissing during breakups.

H sent a text in the morning thanking me for coming over and I hope H didn't give me false hope. That is something he always said before too.

H said I was being so nice to him he wanted to be nice back?? I said by ML? H said no...???? I said so me being nice makes you want to ML to me, he said sort of????

we had a day of friendly of friendly flirty texting all day. a few days later I asked him if he wanted to go to a concert with me. We used to go see him all the time and it is out favorite. Typically he said why don't you take your BF? lol I said he doesn't like that music..He said he would go and thanked me for thinking of him. It is this Thursday..

Friday I sent him a text in the evening saying I don't think it is a good idea for us to ML again. It is not good for either of us. H said what ever I think is right. H went to MIL house over the weekend and I haven't sent him a text since Friday he either. Not sure if that has made him mad or what??

I just felt the need to say I didn't think it was good for us. Not that it won't happen again, lol.

I hope your sitch gets better and keep up the good work.