Back home, having a very hard time!!!

[MrBond]

First off, let me just say that if you don't want to post any longer, that's entirely up to you. I've been here long enough to see MANY situations like yours that ended up with the WAS leave with the OM in the EXACT way that people are warning you about.

What you don't seem to understand is that in cases like this, timing is everything. The issue is that if you just sweep this under the rug, it will build resentment in you regardless of how much you try to ignore it. Sweeping things under the rug doesn't help.

You're doing it out of fear. I get it. But whether it's now or later, if you don't have an HONEST talk with your W you AND your family will not be happy.

Texting that much to someone who isn't your spouse isn't natural. You can reverse that trend right now.

NO one said you had to be a d*ck about it. It's about respect and getting total honesty in your life. Do you feel that you don't deserve respect? Doesn't sound like a good role model for your D.

"Will I ever know if there was more? Probably not."

Why not? Complete honesty will take care of this.

"This whole situation stinks. Why is it that thru this entire situation since I found this site it has been pounded into me that the MLC does not really know what they are doing. That we are supposed to support them and so on. That they are confused and all this stuff. So why is it different now?"

It's not. That's a way for you to understand their POV. HOWEVER, you can help clear the MLC fog sooner by leading her out instead of walking confused in it too.

"If I lose out to someone else I guess it wasnt meant to be."

That's total fantasy BS. There's no such thing as something "meant to be". Good relationships take work and understanding. It's not something you're born into.

"Like I've heard over and over on this site. We can't control their actions, but we can control ours. Me acting jealous and mad is not going to make her stop."

We didn't tell you to be jealous and mad.

"Me telling her to stop is not going to work either. Itl just make OM a shoulder for her to cry on."

You never tried. And any way, there is a way to do it without seeming like you're "demanding". In any event, look at the amount of calls to each other. Sorry to say it but he's already her shoulder. Wouldn't you rather have her text YOU that much? There's a way to do it.

But if you're not going to post any more, good luck to you.

Maybe a month from now I'll decide I can't deal with that and say its me or him. I don't know at this time what I will do. I've only been back home for a month, if she was emotionally connected to him im sure it wouldn't end that quickly. I can see I may be acting like a sucker her, but I'm not ready to make demands at this time. Being back home with my D means too much to me to risk at this time."