I found out on 2/2012 about my H having an EA, we tried to work on things but he kept communications with OW. I kicked him out on 8/2012. The next few months were very hard because we have a 20 month old baby girl and he has not helped me financially at all.
Cell records shows H talks to OW daily. I filled out D papers and drafted a marital settlement agreement and handed the docs to him on 1/4/2014, a day before our 13 yr anniversary. He claimed not to want D, didn't know when he would cut contact with OW or attempt to do something about our R. He seems truly lost. I discovered the same week, talked to a DB coach and read DR. I also stopped all contact with him on 1/4/14, only on Sundays I see him when he takes baby girl for the day.
So, I don't want a D but also don't plan on sitting around for someone taking me for granted. I spent my last 5 months on GAL w/o knowing, IC, yoga, self reflection, focus on my daugther, etc... Now just patiently focusing on me and hoping this LDEA ends...
Anyone DB successful with LDEA? My H texted me tonight about baby, then small chat wanting to know if I was dating, not sure where that came from....how long should I have no contact? Any advice is kindly needed and appreciated.
H 38, me 39 M 13 D 2 yrs BD 2/2013 H in LDEA 2011-2014 H kicked out of our home 8/2013
How long should you have NC? Depends on why you're having NC. Some people start out NC in order to get their emotions under control. If you're doing NC as a part of LRT, them it goes on until he decides to move toward you or you decide you're done.
How is he taking you for granted?
Sounds like you're doing great with your GAL. Keep it up.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Labud....he has never acknowledge that my career or job are important, I tried to keep a fairly clean house with my baby and all and he used to point out the dirty spots...or areas that needed deep cleaning. Anyway, for me all that is in the past for now since I have my own place. I took him for granted as well while writing my dissertation and giving birth to our baby on the same year, I take responsibility for that.
We'll see what happens tomorrow.i plan on empathy, listening and acknowledging any comments he makes.
H 38, me 39 M 13 D 2 yrs BD 2/2013 H in LDEA 2011-2014 H kicked out of our home 8/2013
H came over about a week ago supposedly to talk about the "settlement agreement" document I drafted and gave to him a month prior. We had a nice quiet dinner at home with baby and then I asked him if he had anything to say prior to chatting about the doc. He didn't say much and had some issues with the amount of child support and minor stuff...I let him speak since this is part of my new me!
At some point the conversation went to what we really wanted, and he said since we are both check out...and this is where I told him that "I never said that I checked out" what I said is that I couldn't be in a marriage with someone who was having an emotional affair and not willing to stop". Since it was getting late, I gave him an option and told him to think about moving in with baby and I on our third bedroom "as a roommate" or if he was willing to as re-entering our family...he said he needed time to think about it.
We ended up talking most of the night and he stayed over in the couch since his sister is about an hour an half away. I would love for some opinions on how long did you wait for your spouse to re-enter...I can see that at least he stopped talking to the OW...and it maybe a month until I can afford another DB coach session.
H 38, me 39 M 13 D 2 yrs BD 2/2013 H in LDEA 2011-2014 H kicked out of our home 8/2013
