Well lunch went well. Once we were done eating, I asked her straight out what her plan was. She said she doesn't know her plans day to day, doesn't know yet. It became a 2 hour conversation. Very respectful, but airing of grievances. I kept it on topic. I had no apologies, explained that I knew we had problems but that we didn't need to separate to solve them.
She tried to justify it with "we grew apart" type statements. I stayed on track, explained and re-iterated that I was alone. My role in life had become the supporter of her activities and the kids, there was no space for me. She eventually became more honest and forthcoming. She had her issues too and she finally spoke out. It wasn't easy to hear but it was finally said. I think she finally sees that I wasn't in a good place, she acknowledged and apologized for how I felt. I see understand more how she sees things, though many of the problems she had (I feel) were caused by the position I was in. Eventually we agreed that we need to discuss this more.
We'll see where this goes. I didn't push for R or ask for counselling, let the conversation roll. I think it went well.
Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
