separted six weeks still on the journey - II

[paul19510]

journal: Our taxes are coming up and we'e going to owe due to our business. We didn't get to pay al of the quarterly amounts b/c we needed every penny that came in due to the horse stuff.

This separation with all the finances still exactly as they were serves no good for me and my kids. I just wanted more emotional connection and a better R with W. Now we don't have that, we spend more for things b/c we are separate and no one wins. The only person that sort of benefits from the current sitch is W. She doesn't have to hear my points of view about our M, doesn't have to do anything with Family that she doesn't want to and is free to come and go through our home at any time she pleases.

Mortgage rates are favorable and I'm really beginning to wonder if I need to begin to move forward on refinancing her out of the mortgage. I also found a L that is really compassionate and very good at what he does. he offered me a discounted amount to have W and I work together and then have Me pay for a second attorney on W's behalf to look over an agreement. If I could get W to do this, it was save us up to 50% on L fees.

The problem is I really can't tell W I met this guy b/c if I did, I believe she'd bail out for sure. I don't know what the right answer is....

I am beginning to see some communication from W in the last 2 days. Nothing is personal, but its communication. does this mean something or is it meaningless and I'm just reading into it. I don't know what to do to make sure me and kids are in the best place possible.

W is not seeming to make any moves in any direction and appears quite content to live at her parents indefinitely. Part of me wonders why SHE brought up staying here at the house while I go to Niagara with S. I think it was just the convenience of staying closer to the barn for a couple of days knowing that I am out of town.

D16 was kind of mad about W staying here, but I told her, I can't tell mom she can't be here. this is her house too. So, when she told me she was coming to take care of the pets while I was gone and I replied that I already had that covered, and she still insisted to come and stay anyway, it was game over. she's coming....

I certainly do not plan t argue over this due to the fact that this makes it more appealing to W to come and stay here. W often digs in her heals when we argue and will work even harder to prove her side is what's best. I don't need that right now.

One last thing. Should I see positive signs in the fact that she's asking about time in the house with the kids each week? or that she's asking to stay here while I'm gone to take care of things? Or am I just reading into stuff?

I don't know which way to move, but I'm tired of limbo and its getting financially problematic for my family.