Sad times

[MamaB]

Thank you all for your replays. I'm trying to breathe, my head is still spinning with all of this.

Melissa, my H says that we just have nothing in common and can't agree on anything, and he wants to give the children a better example of a healthy marriage (This last part is something I said to him months ago). Leading up to a year ago, before my H got the promotion, we both seemed to neglect the needs of each as a couple. My husband has been sleeping on the couch for years, he says that it is because he likes to watch TV to fall asleep, and I sleep with a fan on and he never liked that. Even though that was his choice, he mentioned that when he told me about the D. He really was not too specific. He says that he is not having any type of affair, however it would not surprise me.

I have not talked much with my H since Thursday, I just can't seem to get in a place to have a productive conversation, I know that I need to soon. My Mother flew in on Friday for a visit and my Father is coming next weekend, this was a planned visit because my oldest D is in a play next week. My H stayed out of town (he said to be respectful) but did stop by yesterday to get some clothes and to spend time with the kids. We arranged a way where we would not have to see each other yet.

My parents are devastated and angry. I'm actually calmer at this point and I do try to point out how lost my H must be to do this. I have asked that he not come around next weekend while my family is here, I just do not know what will happen with my family and my H. I also asked him to tell me what is a good time for the kids to call him each day during the week so that he does not have to email me to have them call him (he again says that he has been doing that to be respectful to me.) I think that those two request have made him angry.

It has only been 4 days but feels like months to me. I will get the books and a few others I have read about here.

Labug, thank you for the information on how to update my signature, I will try to figure this site out! I need to just listen to my H, I need to get past my hurt and anger and listen.