I think you've hit the nail on the head. I HAVE heard her say she wants to be accepted 100% the way she is. Now I've got to figure out if I can do that. Not sure I want to live with someone who is like this. The argumentative nature she displays has gotten quite tiring. I know she wants to be cared for. Problem is that when she's this way I don't feel like doing that. I find her attitude repellant.
Room and time is what I'm giving myself. I used to think she needed the space. I now feel I need it! I'm not gonna ride this roller coaster anymore. I'm content to go solo if I have to.
the mistake I made during our last reconciliation was that she thought I didn't accept 100%. I truly wanted to but I just couldn't work through some issues fast enough.
One thing to remember is that if you change first she will follow. But there are usually more ways to change than just the ones you can think of right now. I learned that the hard way. I thought if I changed my anger things would be fine. Turns out there were more. And I accept those changes need to be made so there wouldn't be any resentment building up on my side.
If you want to see immediate change from your w, don't engage in any arguments. Period. Bite your tongue. Now isn't the time to defend yourself. Just let her rant like a toddler and accept she has issues of her own. Continue on making yourself happy.
Even though I'm not with my ex and she's dating, I know I can control some of her nastiness by me being non confrontational. It's really hard doing this 100% of the time, but if you behave like this more times than not, you will probably see your w change too.
You know your own boundaries so act accordingly and non argumentatively.
It's tough being in our shoes....
Me-35 Com law-28 S-3 T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu 1st bu- 2/2012 Rec-4/2013 2nd bu-10/2013 IC-2 yrs(anger issues) MC- 5 mnths-fail OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14 New OM ~10/4/14
