One baby step at a time...

[2ndTimeHurt]

2x,

I found it interesting that your wife was berating you for not immediately responding to her texts. My wife likes to drop off the radar screen at times, but often scolds me for not answering my phone promptly. Sometimes I don't have it with me, or I may just have the ringer turned down. She likes to try to make me feel that I am not dependable because I don't immediately answer her. My job is to let her know that I am not obligated to even carry a phone with me.

I'm not sure why your wife expects you to be available to her upon demand. While she's carrying on another relationship? Only a fool would be available!

Your wife sounds like she's just using you to fix her problems. She's having fun with her other guy, but knows to call you to handle her day to day difficulties. I'd restructure your role with her if I were you.

I agree I need to restructure, but I gotta find a balance. I don't want to play into her thinking that I haven't changed and give her more of a reason to justify why she left. It's about perception. She has a negative perception of me and I really don't want to play into that. I really want to be that guy only a fool would leave.

I'm already dim/dark right now. I don't ask questions about her new guy or what she's been up to. If anything she initiates texts and asks what I'm doing. What I struggle with is her assumptions about me. This is where I have to be mr compassion even when my anger flares up. If she gets upset with me based on her perception I have to take the high road and be mr compassionate. I know she is broken and has many issues. It's hard though.

I still want her to know I have her back because she is the mother of my child. So if by me listening to her rant about her mom or friends ill do that. How long will I do this I do not know. The last time she broke up with me I was there for her and I know that opened up her eyes about the guys she was dating. Just little things like I would ask about her new job while the guy she was dating didn't. I'm not going over and beyond but just everyday simple conversation. Women like to talk about themselves. I don't think it's overstepping any boundaries by me listening to her or asking about her day from time to time.

Who knows though...