Good for you for telling people you are separated. That is one thing I am dreading. I have told very few people, and those are people I trust with anything. What happened when you told? Did they say "I'm sorry" and move on? Or did they ask what happened? I am nervous about dealing with this. I really don't want to be the subject of gossip.
M - I did get a lot of questions: What happened? How long ago? Did you move out? Why did your H leave? What do you think will happen? Are you dating? Do you want to be married to him? I pretty much said that H moved out and does not know what he wants. I said that I really have no idea what is going to happen but that I am just trying to focus on myself and the kids and keep moving forward. I did clarify that I was not dating yet and that I did have hope for our M. Honestly, the hardest part was getting out the words "h and I are separated." I do feel like people are surprised that I cant give them a straight answer to the question "what happened." I hate that question because (1) I still cant believe that it happened and (2) because that really is no ones business. I don't want to tell the truth (H had an A and wants to live like a 20 year old), so I tried to just avoid answering.
One the the partners in my firm left his wife and remarried. He and his new wife were both on the trip. They had the most questions and "advice". I think that I am finally at a point that I am comfortable with my current situation and can let others advice and/or judgments roll off my back. I told on my own terms when I was ready.
I also understand now why my H is loving his new life. For four days, I had NO responsibilities other than showing up for a few classes. I had no kids, did not have to clean/cook/pay bills. I went out and drank and just had fun. There was no one to nag me about real life issues. No wonder my H loves his new carefree life. I can see how you can be addicted to having no responsibilities because the freedom is nice and refreshing. Now I know why my H is trying so hard to keep the best of both worlds. Yet I also know that you cant live in this fantasy forever.
