ok Peacesj you have to know that you will be fine no matter what...
its very important that you detach, and here is why:
When you don't detach you tend to try to control what the other person does, as I hope you can see here look:

Lifes Twists, thank you for recommending the book, I will read it. Hope my H is wiling to read it as well.

You think that you still right and he is wrong, so you keep thinking that you can show him the right way to do things.
Basically you have an insecurity of thinking that whatever you do if its not approved by him, its not valid.

Wrong, whatever you do its completely valid, because you are not perfect and you don't want to be either, just live the life, in life people does mistakes, including you and that's how we grow.
That's how we become more mature.

You will have to accept D because that's how you will be able to deal with all this, if you accept the D you will become stronger and with no expectations from all this.
Your kids need a mom right now, and they need a cool mom, one that goes to the gym, that takes them to their games, that its funny and loves herself.
This is a gift, think about this like your vacations from the married life.
No annoying husband around, just you and the kids...

He is not perfect, but there is only one way he can see that, by you detaching.

Once you detach he will be able to work on his issues, but if you don't detach, he is gonna continue to acusse you of everything and not take care of his issues.
Also this is not a probed method, he might or might not work on his issues. But again YOU DONT care about that, you care about you, about doing things that you like.

Let him go, don't push things anymore, show him that you have little time for another kid, that you have to take care of a real woman, if you don't do this, he is definetly gonna file for D soon.

So let him be and use this time wisely, use it for yourself, to loose those extra pounds, to eat healthier, to learn to run barefoot. And then let God take care of everything else...

Trust me, God knows what s/he is doing and why s/he is doing it.

When the student its ready, the teacher will appear...
Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.