Here I Am Again!

[Missmygirl]

Some interesting things E has said to me:

I feel things got worse between us when you started getting coaching/counseling.

When you talk to me, you make me feel like I'm talking to a psychologist.

You spend lots of time trying to figure out how to word things.

I am NOT having an MLC.

I don't know you anymore.

You just want to control me.

Have any of you out there experienced your spouse pushing you further away from them because you have made changes or actually try to communicate your feelings with them.

E really thinks that:

1) She's done nothing wrong. (Speculation, I know. Although she has said that there is nothing wrong with partying all night. And time spent with OM is innocent and is only so kids can play together.)
2) I am insecure.
3) I try to control her.
4) I cannot be trusted.

I think I have pretty much figured out that I am married to a man who just happens to be trapped in an awesome female body. She doesn't like to talk about feelings. Goes into her cave. Looks at me like I've got two heads when I try to show her I'm am interested in communicating with her. Very analytical like a man, but with all the traits of a woman as well. She gets upset and cries like a woman. I can read books about women my whole life long and STILL not be able to figure out how to understand her. Lots of the stuff in books about women in general just don't seem to apply.

She complains that I am not open with her. If I am completely open and don't sugarcoat my words to her, she gets defensive and starts her counterattack.

What seems to calm our storm is when I don't talk about what bothers me, and don't talk about our relationship. Her way of dealing with this mess is just like a man. If I was the wife and she were the husband you would be hearing me say, "I try to connect with him and he just withdraws. He doesn't want to do anything with me. He just wants to hang out with his buddies at the bar. He's in his own little world and has surrounded himself with his friends. Whenever I say something to him about this, he just claims that I am being critical and nagging him." She does a very good job, however, of assuming the role of the WAW by thoroughly briefing my on all the times I or my family members have hurt her.