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[PortiaM]

Not really sure if this is the right place for me, but I'm looking for some active support.

Happily married since 1995, together since 1993. In November 2013 my husband cheerfully let me know that he'd flown to one of his out-of-town offices to let a co-worker know that he had feelings for her and he wanted to become better "friends." She's 13 years younger and a newlywed. She was eager to reciprocate, and they call one another "girlfriend" and "boyfriend." She also told him during this conversation that she had once been involved with a co-worker before which led to his divorce - an event which left her "crushed."

He is "very happy" with our marriage, which has been very active on an intimate level throughout our marriage and doesn't want our marriage to change. He calls this "additive," and says that our marriage is not threatened at all by this because he and I are best friends and share a heart. We have two children who are nearly 15 and 13/

I did not see this coming AT ALL, despite the fact that he claims that "for years" he's been saying that he would like to have "variety."

What followed was a crazy amount of texts and emails at all hours of the day. I cried for 8 weeks and lost 20 lbs. He told me that my reaction was driving him TO her, not to me, but reiterates again and again that our marriage is fine, that we're best friends, that he loves me, that he shares my heart.

They have been physical with one another, but have not had intercourse yet.

He's super concerned about his physical appearance these days, wants to have weekly dinners with his parents, so much of this has the hallmarks of a mid-life crisis....He didn't like hearing that. (I shouldn't have told him.) He also didn't like me telling him that he was having an emotional affair (at first) so after I told him the worst case scenario was if he got a disease or got her pregnant he thought I'd given him the green light to start kissing her (under no circumstances did I give him the green light for that).

It's been 7 weeks since they've seen one another, but he is headed to her office again this week. I'm beside myself.

Even though we aren't discussing divorce, is DivorceBusting a good resource for me? If not, does anyone have any good thoughts? I keep reading that I need to just wait this out (excruciating) and take care of myself and my kids.