Then you need to move forward without her and let her figure out her stuff.
She's going to have lots to figure out so it may take a while.
You have to provide a very stable environment for your kids, and shield them from her drama. She's on a downward spiral and who knows if she can catch herself.
Ever thought of going to AlAnon? It can be a lifesaver for you.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss