It's interesting, I was thinking about you yesterday in the morning and then, here you are.
It seems your H is making some positive moves. That's good. Have no expectations.
About the responses,
I choose 2, if he asks, you can explain.
1 is a good response if he asks but I would caution about doing it to pre-empt hurt feelings on his part. That's trying to fix. (I've been battling that demon myself this week)If you choose 1, do it because you recognize your mistake and need to make amends, not to try and manage someone else's feelings.
I did choose the 1 route a few times during our S because I had acted in a way that was not the person I want to be. I can remember one time I wrote, "I want to apologize for what I said yesterday because that's not who I want to be. I allowed my emotions to be in control and I took it out on you."
Interesting that I remember that so clearly.
If you feel strongly that an apology is needed to keep your side of the street clean, do it.
AlAnon also brought lots of feelings up in me, stuff I needed to look at and work on but didn't want to. I also tried to quit counseling a few times, when I got really scared to face certain things. There's a great quote that I keep in mind for times like those, Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.
And that other old saw, Feel the fear and do it anyway!
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
