Smokey's family has this weird dynamic. They simply cut people outta their lives as opposed to dealing with any conflict.
Smokey's parents have cut our kids outta their lives.
His mom, especially, has gone years without speaking to her mom, brother, friends, etc... because of some such disagreement. She loves to tell these reunion stories about how "so and so and I haven't spoken in 10 years and now we are meeting and blah blah blah..."
This is how they operate. The darker side of Smokey WILL, without question, cut her out of his life. He has done it before. This isn't as simple as a dad who is reminded of himself in his kid. His addiction takes it to a higher level because the addict in him will do anything to continue using--even if it means giving up his daughter.
D19 knows this. My God, it hurts like he!! to write that truth. But, it IS the truth. She is smart and she knows her dad. She knows he is gone to her and has accepted it. She has cut him out before he has the chance to do the same to her.
I think she has washed her hands of him. And, in some ways, it may be the best thing for her. He brings a lot of toxicity wherever he goes. I won't tell her that, of course. My standby is, "You do what you need to do with your dad. I will support you either way."
When she went to the Saving Mr. Banks movie and was so overwrought with emotion because of the topic of an alcoholic father not being there for his kids...I was listening to her cry over the phone and I told her, "You could call your dad. You could call and talk to him...maybe that would help?"
"Mom, seriously? What would that do? He wouldn't be there for me and I'd feel even worse. I would stick my neck out again and it would be cut off."
And, sadly, she is right. Someone in full blown addiction like Smokey--he's not capable of love. He loves his drug and any call or remark or reaching out on her part, he considers a threat because she sees the problem clearly and he knows it.
She sees him for what he is. Someone who is very sick and refuses treatment.
The piece to remember with them...she went to jail for her outrageous behavior and drug use. She went to therapy and meetings when she started to spin outta control on drugs. She went to counseling for her problems. She went to probation. She paid her fines herself. She dressed in the prison orange on camera for all to see. Her name was in the paper for being arrested.
Smokey has never had to face the music like she did. She has no respect for someone who isn't as strong as she is. She knows what he needs to do and she knows he is simply refusing to do it because he loves him some MaryJane.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
