I just remembered something else from the conversation last night. He had been telling me how great and important he is and how he helped so many sick people that day.

He was then talking about how he doesn't believe anything I say and says that I am the person who said "the whole world is against me and you h are against me." I told him that I honestly don't remember saying that. He said I did. So I told him if I did it sounded like I must have been in a very bad place. That I sounded sick. He agreed that I was sick and that I "made him sick"

How does someone have so much compassion for strangers yet just hate for the person they were supposed to love in sickness and health.

And I honestly do not remember saying anything like that. I wonder if he is reaching back 10 years to when s was very sick and we didn't know if he would ever leave Nicu? Maybe he is remembering a time I was depressed and blocked out.

I can't go back to past. All I can do is keep moving forward. Keep working on forgiveness and becoming a more optimistic person. Keep working on finding my own happiness.

Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15