Things have been chugging along. I have been working, spending time with s and the dogs. I got an alanon sponsor. Civil interactions with h for the last few days but that all changed tonight.
Even though the last few days have been ok I have been in an anger phase of the process. S has severe anxiety and it is getting worse. He cries for h all the time. He has tantrums. H won't talk about it. I feel like this is another mess that he has created and I have to deal with. And then I get angry the h is out all the time doing whatever with whoever and I have very limited opportunity to have a life outside of work and s.
Tonight I wasn't feeling well and came home from work early. H was so mad I was there and kept going on and on about how he doesn't want me there.
He accused me of having OM (I have only 1 male friend that I speak regularly and he is gay and lives 8 hours away) I said some mean things about OW which I know is wrong and I regret.
Then he moves into bashing my parenting because I am trying to expose s to situations where he can interact with other kids. It is always a safe environment. I am there. We are leaving when he gets too upset. I have been discussing everything with s's Doctor. H thinks that if s just wants to stay in house all the time I should let him. We don't even come close anymore on agreeing abour S.
Somewhere in the middle of all this (I am staying calm btw no yelling from me) he starts going off on how his job is so much more important. I agree that it is. I have the job that I have because we needed stability a paycheck and insurance. I questioned why he can be so caring to strangers but so mean to me. He screamed how he hates me and stormed out and took off to wherever.
I know I shouldn't have said anything. I keep my mouth shut about so much. How much am I really supposed to take.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
