I believe I know from my own journey what you want to do and why you want to do it.
I could be wrong, but you seem to be hoping for a eleventh hour reprieve. Perhaps sub consciously you expect a hail mary to dazzle her and stop the process.
In the 3rd month of my separation I wrote such a letter. An ownership mea culpa that sounded great to me. Other than to insinuate too little too late and actions speak louder than words, she was in no frame of mind to receive it as I had intended. So here I am 15 months later just trying to stay out of her way as she walks her path. In perfect hindsight my letter, while read, was not only too early but not the masterpiece I thought it was. It never got a direct reply and for all I can tell may have set me back.
Even earlier today after seeing MWD's FB post I thought about using her comments to frame an email to my wife. Second and third thoughts said no, it's like pursuit coming from me. From someone else maybe thought provoking, but not from me.
We haven't spoken for 10 months and except for an irregular out of the blue text or email which are cold and impersonal, there has been no contact. The next topic upcoming will be taxes. I do not initiate, only respond.
Who knows what is next. We are not legally divorced or separated and we don't live together. She is in CA and I am in HI. She knows where I am and how to contact me. In the meantime I GAL and respond when contacted kindly and with love and stay out of her way. She knows how I feel.
We have been together 30 years and married for 26. Known her for nearly 33.
We have a son slightly younger than you are. My thoughts to him would be take the high road, show grace. Be kind, yet handle like a business deal. This is the time to take care of you. Down the road you may be given the opportunity to get your closure and speak your heart, if you remain interested at the time. Then you can have your say and know you were heard.
Remain detached. Act as if. Be the man only a fool would leave. The divorce is only a piece of paper and there are many stories of re-engagement.
Most of the worse is over. You are doing fine and will get through this. All the best to you.
The only easy day was yesterday
Friends - 35 years Together -32 years Married - 29 years S - 26 BD - 11/11 S 7/12 Last visual contact 2/13 Last verbal contact 4/13
