"What is what I have now? Its awful to feel like this, because I have guilt of not thinking about how to fix our relationship all the time..."
That's why you have to GAL.
What do you have? You have yourself which isn't bad. There's ALWAYS someone else who is worse off than you. You know I've worked with children who are terminally ill who are willing to fight and laugh and not be beaten.
You're not even in that bad a shape yet you act worse than them.
"I am getting crazy just thinking about all this.... could it be that there is OM how could I find out??"
If you don't start to GAL, this will (and is) eat you alive. Don't let it. Be strong. It took my W and I 3 years before she started to soften up. YOU have to be strong. Be a man and not a baby.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
