My 15 yrs old son announced that he wanted to move in with his father, 2 days prior to school starting... No one knew about it.. not even his father.. there was no arguement involved.. even his sisters had no clue. I didn' t know what to do or say.. i was blown away because he had told me in the past: " Why would you concidere taking him back? We are better now, no one walks on egg shell anymore. " I asked him if he thought about it seriously. if he thought of his sisters, his friends, his entire family? He said yes.. i answered : Well, go ahead..try it, but there will be no back and forth.. one time only.. Your room will always be your room.. you are welcome back anytime..
He got hurt by my reaction.. I told him: " i don' t know what i can say or do? If i force you to stay here against your will, you will resent me even more.. In the first week, ex-H called to say: " I don' t know about this ".. I never wished hurt on anyone.. he has been crying on and off.. he loves you.. He misses you... On my ex's visitations with the girls, he would walk around and try to convinced my son to move back by saying.. so, i long before you come back here? Don' t you miss your friends? When will you move back?
Anyway... My son now visits every second week-end.. The relationship with his sister is weird, sometimes cold.. An arguement broke out beetwin him wnd S18.. She gave him heck for the way he treated and talked to me.. they are distant, careful about what they say or talk about now.. still close but not as close. Ex has yet another woman moved in with her 2 children G13,S18.. and now; my son.. Ex is changing.. in a positive way.. he seem to realise some of the impact his life had on us.. he has been very kind to me since x-mas.. Polite, caring, offering help.. Me, on the other hand don' t trust him AT ALL.. Scared he will backtrack.. Seen it over and over.. I am polite and thank him for his kindness but never call him on anything..
I still feel on protection mode when it is in relation with ex.. It makes my relationship with my son very difficult.. we talk about friends, school, looking for employement, driving courses, dentals and opticals.. responsabilities and friendly fun.. no ex' s home conversation.No ex conversation. No step mom conversation.
