I decided to post back on Newcomers, although, I guess being 6 months in, I'm still relatively "young", and I want to make sure I have people slapping me around a little, and it's very helpful to get the great feedback on here.
Quick recap, most in my sig: - Married 11/10/2013 - W serious depression - Separated 6/10/2013 (she went out of state to stay with her mom for 6 weeks to "pray/fast") - EA - 6/26/2013 (found out started while out of state) - Divorce filed 8/19/2013 - W wants back in 9/1, lasts one day - PA - lasted less than one week 9/15/2013 - Ended PA, but still distant "friends" - W wants back in 10/1, lasts one week - W wants back in "for real", ends A, even friends 10/29/2013 - Divorce dismissed 12/13/2013
Since 12/13/2013, some interesting stuff, to say the least. Struggling a lot with both my two kids and her two kids being adamantly against our R. Two HUGE fights, one on Christmas Eve (after which she ended up texting OM to try to make me jealous, although she apologized for it).
Over the last two weeks especially I have had two fairly significant things happen: 1. I have lost all fear of "losing her", etc; when she gets upset, I just leave and do my thing. At first, I thought this meant that I was losing my interest in her and our relationship, but I've realized I'm a little more confident that she's really not going to leave again.
2. She has been the picture of calm and restraint the last couple of weeks - when for the past three years she has been extremely volatile, even admitting she may need anger management counseling.
3. I've been struggling mightily with feelings of resentment, whether it's fair or not. W sincerely regrets everything; has always taken complete responsibility, even says her actions are not my fault, even if I'm to blame for my share of our marital problems.
Anyway, I read the posts of the folks that have been here awhile, and appreciate their perspective, and I simply don't have it yet, so maybe I need a little more guidance!
